Thursday, 4 February 2016

#Timetotalk Day 2016

Today is #TimetoTalk Day 2016, so I thought I'd take the opportunity to ponder something positive, namely how it feels to be "doing better". I chose the phrase "doing better" because a lot of mental health conditions are essentially lifelong, but with symptoms occurring temporarily under specific circumstances.

When I get up in the morning I feel tired, but not completely drained. I can focus on getting ready for work, and I'm calm in myself (assuming the alarm goes off at the right time). I look forward to the day, be it a day at work, at home, or relaxing with family. I'm not afraid and I look forward to being around other people. I don't feel tension in every muscle.

Simple things like music, or the kids being silly, make me smile. Sound doesn't hurt my ears or make me irritable. I can look people in the eye without feeling an inexplicable shame, without feeling sick. The idea of being outside is pleasant, weather permitting. I have a plan for the day, no matter how vaguely formed it may be. I don't waste it pondering past mistakes.

I don't feel overwhelmed by the washing up, downtrodden by the cleaning, or buried by a mountain of work beyond my capabilities. I relish the idea of a challenge, especially if it means learning something new. You can't shut me up for talking about the latest bit of Tech I've read about, or that new website I've helped build.

I make bad jokes, I'm self-deprecating, and I laugh at silly humour. I read Fantasy for pleasure, not just escapism, and I watch action movies for fun (Marvel mainly, I do like a superhero). I decide to go out at random times, and play at being a chef rather than living on chips. I can even take criticism without it being a personal affront (mostly).

I work at home in the evening, because I'm focussed on getting the latest piece of work just right, rather than because I can't get organised or can't concentrate at work. I want to do things after work, be it moving a room around, gaming, or delivering a few leaflets. I walk to the shops because I'm not in a rush, rather than just driving because I can.

That's what "doing better" feels like for me. Hopefully you'll feel that way today too.


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